To ask someone for an introduction, message the person who knows you both privately, name exactly who you want to meet and why, and add two or three lines they can forward unchanged. Make saying no easy. A good introducer then checks with the other person before starting any WhatsApp group: a double opt-in introduction.
TL;DR
- Ask privately, name one person and one reason, and size the ask: "20 minutes" is a favour someone can picture.
- Include a blurb of two or three lines about yourself, in the third person, so the introducer can forward it unchanged.
- On WhatsApp anyone with your number can add you to a group by default, so a good introducer asks the other person first: a double opt-in introduction.
- People underestimate how often others agree to a direct request for help (2008 studies), so ask, and make saying no easy.
- Close the loop with the introducer whatever happened.
How do I ask someone for an introduction?
An introduction here means one person connecting two people they know; that person is the introducer. A warm introduction arrives through them rather than from a stranger. It asks two favours: the introducer spends standing, the other person gives time. So make both small:
- Write privately, in a one-to-one chat, so the introducer is free to say no.
- Name one person and one reason. "Anyone in F&B" hands the introducer your thinking.
- Size the ask. "20 minutes" tells both people what yes would cost.
- Say no is fine, in words.
- Add a blurb they can forward: two or three lines about you, in the third person.
Every name, company and place in the samples below is made up for this post.
The ask, in a private WhatsApp chat with the person who knows you both:
Hi Daniel, Mei Ling here. A small favour, and no is completely fine. I noticed you know Kamal Hassan at Kafe Tiga Daun. I'd like 20 minutes with him about frozen pastry for their outlets. If you know him well enough, could you check whether he's open to an introduction? Two lines you can forward are below.
What it does: one person, one reason, a sized ask, and an exit for Daniel.
Mei Ling Tan runs Dapur Roti Supply in Petaling Jaya, which makes frozen pastry for cafés. She'd like 20 minutes with Encik Kamal to see whether it fits Kafe Tiga Daun's outlets, at his office or on a call, whichever is easier.
What it does: written about Mei Ling, not by her, so Daniel can forward it as it stands.
The one thing never to ask the introducer: "just add us to a group". That hands Daniel the decision to put Kamal somewhere Kamal never agreed to be.
Sharing only a LinkedIn connection? Send the same ask and blurb as a LinkedIn message; an introduction email works the same way. If the only person who can introduce you is someone you have not spoken to in years, reconnect first and ask later.
What is a double opt-in introduction?
A double opt-in introduction is one where both people agree before either learns the other's contact details or lands in a shared chat. The introducer asks the person being asked for time, hears yes, and only then connects them.
On WhatsApp it is not automatic. WhatsApp's Help Center says anyone with your phone number can add you to a group, and "By default, your group privacy settings are set to Everyone" (WhatsApp Help Center, read 9 October 2026). Switched to My Contacts or My Contacts Except, a direct add becomes a private invite that expires after three days; an invite link is always the recipient's choice. My reading, not WhatsApp's: with the default setting, a three-person group made without asking is an introduction one of the three never agreed to. I have no figure for how many people keep the default.
WhatsApp is where Malaysian introductions happen: in MCMC's Internet Users Survey 2022, 97.7% of internet users had a WhatsApp account (MCMC, page 98).
Three ways to make the introduction once both have said yes:
- A three-person WhatsApp group
- Fits: both use WhatsApp for work.
- Each person: the introducer writes once and leaves; the other two hear who and why from someone they trust.
- Risk: made without asking, it is single opt-in by default.
- Passing on a number or contact card
- Fits: the person giving time said "give her my number".
- Each person: the asker writes first, from a number the other has not saved.
- Risk: forwarded before a yes, it hands out a number without consent.
- An email with both in the To line
- Fits: the matter is formal, or one of them works by email.
- Each person: the introducer moves to BCC after both reply; the others answer when it suits them.
- Risk: slower, and easy to leave unanswered.
How do you introduce two people on WhatsApp?
The introducer checks with the person doing the favour, introduces, then steps out. The check uses their language and title. In Bahasa Malaysia, to Encik Kamal:
Salam Encik Kamal, Daniel di sini. Seorang kenalan lama saya, Mei Ling, membekalkan pastri sejuk beku kepada kafe di PJ, dan dia ingin berbual 20 minit dengan Encik tentang outlet Kafe Tiga Daun. Boleh saya kenalkan? Kalau masa tak sesuai, tak mengapa.
In English: "Greetings Encik Kamal, Daniel here. An old contact of mine, Mei Ling, supplies frozen pastry to cafés in PJ, and she'd like a 20-minute chat with you about the Kafe Tiga Daun outlets. May I introduce you? If the timing isn't right, that's fine."
What it does: who, what, how long, and an exit, with no number forwarded.
In Chinese, to a Chinese-speaking contact, Mr Lim, addressed as 林总:
林总您好，我是 Daniel。我以前的同事美玲在八打灵再也做咖啡馆用的冷冻糕点，想跟您聊二十分钟，看看适不适合贵公司的门市。方便的话，我介绍你们认识？不方便也完全没关系。
In English: "Hello Mr Lim, this is Daniel. My former colleague Mei Ling makes frozen pastry for cafés in Petaling Jaya and would like twenty minutes with you to see whether it suits your outlets. May I introduce you? If it's not convenient, that's completely fine."
What it does: the same parts, in the language and form of address Mr Lim uses.
After both have said yes, the introduction, in a new three-person group or an email to both:
Encik Kamal, meet Mei Ling Tan of Dapur Roti Supply, the frozen pastry maker I mentioned. Mei Ling, Encik Kamal runs operations for Kafe Tiga Daun's outlets. You've both said you're happy to talk, so I'll leave you to find a time. I'll step out of this group once you've said hello.
What it does: names the person doing the favour first, says both agreed, and announces the exit.
My view of the etiquette, not measured rules:
- The person doing the favour hears first, and is named first in the group.
- Keep the title they use: Encik, Puan, Datuk or Dr, until they drop it.
- Forward no number or contact card before a yes.
- Step out once both have said hello: leave the group, or move to BCC.
Sometimes the honest answer is no:
Hi Mei Ling, I'd rather not ask Kamal for this one. We've only met once, so I can't really vouch for anyone to him. Sorry, and good luck with it.
What it does: a real reason, about the introducer's relationship, and no maybe.
Why do people put off asking for an introduction?
Partly because they expect a no. In Francis Flynn and Vanessa Lake's first three studies, people underestimated "by as much as 50%" how likely others were to agree to a direct request for help, in experimental and natural field settings; those asking also gave less weight than the helpers to the social cost of refusing (2008, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, abstract).
My reading: the person you ask is likelier to say yes than you think, and because no costs them something, ask privately and say no is fine. The limit: those studies were about direct requests for help in general, not introductions, networking or Malaysia.
What should you do after someone introduces you?
Reply within a day (this post's rule of thumb: they have just said yes to you), with one next step and a way out of the group:
Thank you, Daniel. Encik Kamal, good to meet you here. Would a 20-minute call on Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon suit you? I'll message you directly so Daniel can step out.
What it does: two slots matching the 20 minutes promised, and a door out for Daniel.
Then close the loop with the introducer, privately, whatever happened:
Hi Daniel, a quick update: Encik Kamal and I spoke on Wednesday. It isn't the right time for them, but he asked me to check back after Chinese New Year. Thank you for making the introduction.
What it does: tells Daniel his favour was well spent, though nothing was decided.
The message after the meeting itself is a follow-up like any other: what a follow-up message after meeting someone should say.
Do you need an app to find who can introduce you?
No. For a few dozen people, your phone's contacts and memory do it.
I built the Network Tracker in Habitus Mind to help with that step: who could introduce me, and whom could I introduce. Its Recall view has a Fast search that is free and uses no AI. Any word matching a contact's name, title, company, industry, specialty, location, status, traits, meeting notes or dates lists that contact, with the reason shown. Each meeting has a free-text "How we met" field, and one trait chip is "introduced by someone". AI search reads looser phrasing with an AI model, for about 1 AI Credit a run.
What it does not do: make introductions, create WhatsApp groups, write or send messages, share contact cards, link two contacts to each other (who introduced whom is only free text or a chip), record whether an introduction was accepted, or remind you to close the loop. Its WhatsApp button opens an empty chat with one person.
Habitus Mind is free to start. Contacts, meetings and a free Fast search across both live in its Network Tracker; to try it, create a free account.
FAQ
How do I ask someone for an introduction?
Message the person who knows you both, privately. Name one person and one reason, size the ask, say no is fine, and add two or three lines about yourself in the third person that they can forward unchanged.
What is a double opt-in introduction?
One where both people agree before either gets the other's contact details or is put in a shared chat: the introducer asks first and connects them only after a yes.
How do I introduce two people on WhatsApp?
Ask the person doing the favour first, in their language, without forwarding any number. After both say yes, start a three-person group, name the person doing the favour first, and step out once they have said hello.
Should I create a WhatsApp group to introduce two people?
Only after both have said yes. WhatsApp's group privacy is set to Everyone by default, so a group made without asking is an introduction one person never agreed to.
What should I do after someone introduces me?
Reply within a day with thanks and one next step, move to a private chat, then tell the introducer how it went, even if nothing came of it.
